Dating in 2022

I feel like I have learned a lot about dating over the past few years. The experiences I have had, good or bad, have all taught me invaluable lessons. They have taken me from the lowest lows, to the highest highs and back down again, but what I know to be true is that I am better because of it all.

Online dating is crap. That's not to say that there aren't very good and genuine people on there, but the crap to goodness ratio is rather unsettling. People hide behind their screens, tell partial truths and outward lies, and vanish when something "better" comes along without so much as a word. The most unfortunate part of it all is that you become so accustomed to it that you start to expect it. 

This is also a very sexually open time, with a lot of relationship descriptions I can't keep up with. "Ethically non-monogamous, solo-partnered" is increasingly common...as well as couples looking for a "unicorn" and things. I feel old and rather basic when I read these. I want love, with one person. Is that so off-trend that it simply doesn't exist anymore? When did dating become so complicated??

The best (worst) are the men who give false identities and are secretly engaged to be married. Local nonetheless! Were there red flags? Yes. Do.not.ignore.the.red.flags.

It's safe to say that my filter is now officially broken and my patience is non-existent. If someone messages me a "Hi" and no valid effort of a legitimate conversation, I'm out. If someone takes days off a conversation and emerges without anything better than "sorry for the late response", I am also out. My time is precious and if you treat it otherwise, I am out. Life is too short for that shit. 

What I have gained though, and I am extremely grateful, is a feeling of self-worth and a very true knowing of what I want and don't want. I know what feeds my soul and what depletes me. This did not come overnight. This has been years in the making, but I think it's safe to say it was worth it. I do not need you. I perhaps want, or wanted you, but there is no longer any sense of need whatsoever. That, my friend, is called growth.

With this growth has also come an acceptance of my flaws and a "love me or leave me" attitude. No, I won't wear heavy make-up for you. No, I won't wear a bikini. No, I won't wear bunny ears. I am just me, as I hope you are just you. 

No matter how crap dating can be, I somehow manage to not completely give up. I may retreat a little and accept that it probably isn't going to happen anytime soon, but I still have hope...somewhere inside of me I know that my person is out there. Living in a very small town definitely doesn't help, but I love my life just the same.

The grass isn't always greener, that's for sure, but I am increasingly ok with being my own person. Someday my perfectly imperfect match will appear and they will accept me as I am and I will do the same for them. Until then, I'll be living my very best life! See you at the beach! 💖🌊