"Becoming the One", by Sheleana Aiyana-A MUST listen/read!

I have been listening to the audiobook "Becoming the One", by Sheleana Aiyana. Have you ever read something that resonated with you in such a profound way that it felt like it was written for YOU? Or at minimum, that you were divinely lead to it because it was just exactly what you needed?

This book. There are so many helpful things. So many relatable stories, moments and feelings. Are we really so the same that one person can write a book and thousands can relate? Yup! 

I think on a base level we all just want to be loved and accepted. We all have varying degrees of trauma and baggage, yet we all carry it differently. It fascinates me how two people can have the exact same experience, yet interpret it so completely differently and learn from it so differently. One may take their trauma and turn it into the source of utter magic, while the other uses it to hide.

No matter how amazing your parents are/were, they caused damage. We all have a narrative in our heads that often we've been playing over and over since we were littles, courtesy of our loving parents. The problem is that our parents didn't know better, but the good news is, it's not too late to break the cycle! We don't have to raise our kids with the same damage. We will never be perfect parents, or children, but we can definitely try to heal ourselves and not transfer our traumas onto them. 

Can you imagine what the world might be like if all people worked at healing and personal growth before becoming a parent? Instead we learn and fumble as we go, having some pretty incredible epiphanies...years too late. 

I consciously try not to pass along my damages, but I know some sneak through...especially the ones that I haven't yet accepted and/or faced. It's funny the things that stick you. The people who are supposed to love you without condition can say some of the most hurtful things and feel confidently their words were purely helpful. I can still hear my mom telling me I had "athletic legs" and that they didn't look good in dresses above my knees. I can still hear her ask to "help" with my unruly eyebrows and offer me ways to diminish the appearance of the singular pimple I would get monthly. She loved me immense amounts, but I was reminded constantly of how much room for improvement there was. I never realized how much all of those little remarks had an enormous impact on my self-esteem until I was around 37 and she had passed.

As per usual, I have gotten distracted with my own story, but what I really want is for you to listen to this book. I am on listen #2 and learning a little more with each chapter. This life is a gift and the more we learn, the more we grow! The more we face our trauma and communicate openly with our loved ones, the better off we will all be. The more we heal ourselves, the more we will attract those who are healing/healed too! 

After thoughts for you:

Did you listen or read this book as the parent or as the child? Did you listen as the abused or the abuser? As the addict or their loved ones? All of us have something to gain in listening to this book. It's like the jeans in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-this book just fits all of us somehow.