Helping others, one person at a time

Recently I started studying grief and am currently a Death Doula candidate with the Home Hospice Association. Learning about their mission and how aligned I am with them has been so good for my soul. Knowing that others see dying, death and the medical system as I do, and want to see change, is reassuring. If enough of us work towards change, even by helping one person at a time, eventually the impact will be felt on a larger scale. We all deserve better than the current system.

Have you ever sat in a room, even a virtual one, and felt to your core that you were surrounded by like-minded people? That these people wanted all of the things you did, at least in regards to a certain subject matter? I felt this recently in my Death Doula training weekend. 

How special and beautiful it is to know that people all over the country came together to learn how to help people die with dignity. To help them not just sit in waiting, but live until the no longer can. To help with legacy, death planning, vigil sitting. To be a support to the ailing and/or their "village". I loved every minute of learning and growing with this group. They made me feel safe, valued and heard from the very first 5 minutes of "class". Thank you.

I appreciate that this work isn't for everyone, but what work is? We are all called to help in different ways and it truly takes a village to fill all of a communities needs. What I have noticed though is often it takes living through a not ideal situation to figure out our place in the world. To figure out how we can best be of service and help make the world a little better for others.

Losing my parents to cancer, 7 years apart, has shown me how flawed the medical system is, where the gaps in care, support and knowledge are, and how relentless cancer is. Most importantly, it has taught me about the fraigility and uncertainty of life and what truly matters. At the end of the day, nothing matters more than our health and our people. 

I am also accutely aware of the simple, sad fact that many people die alone. Don't we all deserve to die with some one present? Someone in acknowgement that our life mattered? 

I was driving my daughter to an appointment recently and saw an older gentleman, hardly able to walk, moving very, very slowly, with a couple of bags of groceries. He was by no means in any shape to be out, not to mention, alone. I drove over to him and offered to help. His response was to welcome me for tea, which was a lovely gesture, but immediately made me sad. He invited a perfect stranger to spend time with him. Time. The most precious gift we can ever give and for some, it's all they could ever hope for. 

There are people living alone-alone in health and in sickness. With billions of people on this planet, no one needs to be so isolated. I choose to believe that we can change this reality. We can offer to pick-up groceries, drive someone to an appointment, chat over tea, read a story and even as simple as share a smile. We need eachother. We need human connection and many are going without. This won't do.

I know I can't solve all of the problems of the world overnight, but I have to start somewhere. Who's with me?