Grief

I spend a lot of time thinking about grief. That may sound really depressing, but it's not. I spend time thinking about what grief truly is, how we respond and how it shows up in so much more than just loss of life. I am so pleased to see an increase in support, and understanding of grief. It impacts every single one of us-whether you believe it or not.

I grew up believing that grief was something you felt for awhile after someone died. I had no idea that grief can truly be felt after any kind of loss or change- death, divorce, loss of any type of relationship, a traumatic event, illness, loss of autonomy, loss of a job or retirement, moving, etc. The list is almost endless, because life is ever-changing. 

Grief also never goes away. We can certainly learn to feel differently about the loss or change, but grief is simply a part of the human experience. You don't just get over grief. You can't talk yourself out of the deep seeded sadness, loneliness or loss of purpose. 

This isn't as bleak as it may seem. Grief also has this magical way of showing us how much we care, what our priorities are and what kind of mental toughness we are actually capable of. These bright spots in grief don't happen right away, nor would you want them to. We need to face our grief. We need to sit in it, feel all of the feelings, and honor the loss- whatever it is. 

I am no expert, but I have lived through a lot of loss. It doesn't make loss easier, but it does show me that I have grown more as a human in those extremely difficult times than I could have ever hoped to in a more comfortable time. Loss is a part of life. Change is a part of life. There is nothing we can do to avoid it. 

I have come to believe that peer support might be even more important in grief than any medical professional. Don't get me wrong- we still need all the doctors and therapists for emergencies and dire situations, but there is something about talking to someone who truly understands your type of loss that has so much more power. Talking with someone who is truly actively listening, with empathy, is such a gift. Sometimes what we most need is to be heard, or have someone comfortable enough to sit in silence with you.

Today I am sitting in grief. Hard. Tomorrow might be better, it might be worse, but either way, I'll face it. Such is life.