You Can't Please Everyone All of the Time

I am a people pleaser. I was born this way and I suspect I will live my entire life this way. That said, I have been taught some lessons lately that make me acutely aware of the absolute fact that there is just no pleasing some people...and that it isn't YOU, it's THEM.

The best example of this is teenagers. I have two. I do my best to find family things that they might actually still enjoy. I humor the wardrobe changes and things that come along with figuring out who you are and what your style of the moment might be. I drive them all the places and attempt to cook things that don't make them gag, but I assure you doing all the things, even the things they specifically ask for, will never be quite right or enough. 

I feel, often, that the universe shows you things and teaches you things until you have adequately learned the lesson and I think sometimes it shows you in a more subtle way, until it's like, "HOW ARE YOU NOT GETTING THE MESSAGE?" and then it shows you more like this...

I was sitting chatting with my daughter about her Halloween costume...I sort of zoned out and could see the hat she wanted hanging at Value Village...So I took her there and eventually found it. It was the exact character hat she wanted. The exact one she had looked at online earlier and wished she had ordered. The EXACT thing she wanted was in her hands and she didn't like it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Even the exact thing she wanted wasn't right or good enough. I give up. I had to walk away before my brain exploded. 

This experience, despite being the most frustrating, was a turning point for me. No matter how hard I try, I can not always, or sometimes ever, please people...especially teenagers. I give so much of myself, deplete myself in the extreme, for what? To be crapped on, disappointed, sucked dry of all my time and any semblance of joy... I surrender. I try to please everyone to the point of exhaustion and then there is nothing left for me. I matter too! In fact, I matter just as much. 

I think I hide behind my people-pleasing. Life has been particularly hard the past few years and instead of finding my own joy, I bring joy to others. It's time to face myself. It's time to discover what brings me joy. Other than a few things, I have no idea what I even like anymore. I feel like I need to introduce myself to...myself and get to work! 

I feel so confident that I am not alone in this. Us moms sacrifice everything for our kids, but if we aren't happy, no one is. Time to find my joy!