Life Thoughts

Life isn't easy. It is full of ups and downs. It's busy and it's chaotic and it's frustrating...but it's also a constant miracle. 

The way the sun rises and sets each day, the colours it creates in the sky, like an absolute work of art. The sounds the waves make as they roll in, tumbling the beach stones...so powerful. I feel so affected by the ocean...in such a profound way. Being near it makes me feel more myself...more clear minded...more at peace. There is so much beauty...so much to be grateful for.

One moment we are laughing and carefree and the next we are crying in agony. Life is uncertain. Life can be incredibly brutal. Words can hurt us to our utmost core, just as much as words can set us free.

Being someone who cares so deeply is hard. I hurt big. I love big. I worry and I wonder about everything. I get excited (I mean REALLY excited) about the little, beautiful things in this life. A reflection may excite me to the point of skipping. Seeing David Myles perform fills me up with such a feeling of pure joy. I smile to myself just thinking about it. I laugh loud, hug tight and make sure my loved ones always know how much I care. 

I used to feel like I had to apologize for being me...that I had to explain why I am the way I am and try to tame myself into being who everyone wanted me to be. I was always so concerned about what made others happy that I honestly didn't even know what made ME happy. I was convinced that if others were happy, then I was too. 

I still struggle to make time for me, but it's no longer because I don't know the value of me-time, it's because being a single mom to 3 busy kids is busy. Very busy. Some days are chaos and depleting, but other days, or simply moments, are absolute magic. Sitting on my couch, having a heart-to-heart with my son, until much past a reasonable bed time= total magic. Laughing with my teenage daughter because we have the same thought at the same moment= total magic. Playing a silly trivia game on the swing set with my youngest, laughing at the nonsense we come up with and the tickle she gets when she answers incorrectly= total magic.

I am so incredibly grateful for this life. I hope my Mom is relieved for me. I hope she knows we are all ok now. We did not get here overnight.