Online Dating

Online dating is sketchy at best. I appreciate, and understand, fully how it has become the societal norm, especially since Covid, but it is so full of deception. Rarely does a person truthfully present themselves and the volume of fake accounts alone is reason to abandon the concept all together.

It becomes an addiction. You sign up for a site, fill out the questions and add your best photos. You wait patiently, impatiently, to receive that first notification that someone has "liked" your profile. It's such an endorphin blast when they do and so damaging when they don't. Why don't they like me? Am I not funny enough? Small enough? Pretty enough? It messes with your head in such a deeply unhealthy way.

Judging people by a few simple photos is so shallow, yet so many of us do it or have done it. The joke of it all is that half of the photos are fake accounts, the other quarter are photos from 10 years ago, and what is left is largely people with cigarettes or joints hanging out of their mouths. If that is the very best photo you have to put forward, I feel confident we won't get along. That isn't remotely a judgement on weed use. Do you. It is a judgement on having enough pride and belief in yourself to put your very best and brightest out there. 

It's not just the shallow element that is so awful, there are things far worse about putting yourself out there online. The primary concern should be your safety. I know I have had a couple of close calls on potential meet-ups and it has definitely made me significantly more cautious. 

Once I was chatting with someone and as the messages progressed it became increasingly clear that this person was not the man in the photos. He then asked me out, but I politely declined. An hour or so later, I got this message saying that he happened to be in my town with his sister for drinks and could I meet them. I happened to be out driving at the time and had this super creeped out feeling when I then drove past this SUV, with 4 or 5 men in it, near the local pub. I messaged and asked what he drove and sure enough, his car matched the description of what I had seen. I can't know for sure what his intentions were, but the signs, and my gut instinct, left me feeling as though I was very fortunate to have dodged a potential scary situation.

As a baseline, always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans. Never meet someone in your home or give out your address. Meet somewhere public, where you can feel safe and lots of other people are around. You really never can be too careful out there. If it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Sorry, but this is the truth.

I know some people truly do find love online, but the reality is that this is the exception, not the rule. Be careful out there, people! You will find love when the time is right. You never know where your person might be-the gym, work or even the grocery store. Here I am, advising you on finding your love while I sit here single. It may seem ridiculous, but I believe wholeheartedly that my person is out there. It's simply a matter of time.